Obituary of Carla C. Friedman

Carla Crohn Friedman (November 1, 1942 - June 17, 2024) passed away peacefully at the home in Toms River, NJ where she lived with her husband Stanley for more than 50 years. Carla was her own life force, creating families out of friendships, and building relationships that crossed generations and borders. Her passing leaves a hole that cannot be filled, but her legacy of generosity and empathy will live on in the spirit of those who knew her.

Carla grew up in Dumont, NJ, the daughter of Richard Crohn and Janet Zuckerman. Sister to Stephen Lyon Crohn and Amy Crohn Santagata, she was a lively child, attending Dumont High School (class of 1960) and then Wilmington College before she met Stanley Friedman on a blind date in 1963. Lovestruck, Stanley went home and told his parents he met the woman he was going to marry. He proposed on their second date. After Carla made him go through a proper courtship, she said yes and they were married the following year. After residing initially in Eatontown, they settled in Toms River in 1968 where they raised Amanda, Leslie and Todd. The home was one of great joy, love and laughter, and it would become a meeting place for cousins, friends and kids of all ages. Through the years, Carla and Stan hosted birthdays, reunions, team parties, bar and bat mitzvahs, and numerous other celebrations. Carla told a story once lamenting how her grass wouldn’t grow beneath all these kids’ feet. Her neighbor Virginia Patterson told her she was growing children, not grass, and Carla never worried over the lawn again. The door to the family home was always open, and Carla’s warmth is recognized by the number of her children’s friends who call her Mom or Nana.

Carla attended Ocean County College before getting her Bachelor of Arts in Education and Masters degrees at Georgian Court College. This began 26 years in the Toms River School District at Toms River Intermediate East, Hooper Avenue Elementary School and DARE. Carla’s devotion to her students was admired by her colleagues and she maintained many of those friendships long past retirement. Former students would see her on the street and give her hugs and thanks.

Much like her devotion to her students, Carla brought a passion to everything she did. She and Stanley were active at Congregation B’nai Israel, where she was a long-standing member of the synagogue’s Board of Directors and was a past Chairman of the Education Committee. Carla was also a member for many years on the Israel Bonds committee. 

Carla and her friends were practically inseparable throughout their lives. Spending time at the beach and playing mahjong weekly, Carla’s Toms River clan supported each other through good and hard times. Carla also maintained close ties with her Dumont school friends, taking an annual trip to Vermont to reminisce and laugh.

But most of all, Carla excelled at one thing above all — building her own family. Drawing from the example of her mother Janet, Carla swelled with pride at every achievement large and small. Her three children were followed by eleven grandchildren and then four great grandchildren, not to mention numerous nieces and nephews who treated her like their own grandmother. “Nana” made every grandchild feel special as they argued over who was her real favorite. As Carla’s health deteriorated in her later years, her greatest moments of joy were the time spent with her grandchildren. Nana’s army brought the sparkle back to her eye, and she gained strength as she watched them get married and have their own children. The cancer that impacted her later years could not keep her from flying to California and Israel, attending weddings, bridal showers and graduations, or singing happy birthday on her weekly family Zoom calls.

Carla was predeceased by her mother Janet Zuckerman, father Richard Crohn, step-father Arthur Zuckerman, and brother Stephen Crohn. She is survived by her husband, lifelong companion, and true love Stanley Friedman, her children Amanda Shechter (Judah) of East Brunswick, NJ, Leslie Rosenberg (Zev) of Jerusalem, Israel, and Todd Friedman of Burlingame, CA, her grandchildren Chana (Steven), Moshe, Chava (Nosson), Jeremy (Orly), Ziesel (Yoni), Michal, Charna (Tzadok), Talia, Liam, Daphne and Peter, great grandchildren Yechiel, Devora, Shlomo and Yehuda, sister Amy Santagata and step-sister Judi Bloom, and granddog Gus. 

A service will be held on Wednesday, June 19, 2024 at 12:15pm at Congregation B’nai Israel, 1488 Old Freehold Road, Toms River, NJ.  Burial will immediately follow at B’nai Israel Memorial Park, 1224 West Whitty Rd, Toms River, NJ 08755.

In lieu of flowers or gifts, donations in Carla’s memory to Yeshivat Maharat, Yachad Israel, Congregation B'nai Israel, or any charity that is meaningful to you.